Without Reserve
by SockOompaloompa
Summary: Short One Shot on how I always imagined Ren would tell Kyoko about Kuon and their shared past.


**Sorry to the people who are waiting for me to update Return to Kyoto. It is the end of the school year and I had to deal with proctoring state tests and I have a competition I have to take some of my kids too soon and so by the time I get home and can write. I don't want to do much of anything that requires my brain. That being said, I already had this written, I think I was going to add it another story, but I don't know if I will ever get to it. This is just how I always imagined Ren/Kuon would tell Kyoko about everything. I added a little story at the beginning and end, but I didn't want to go too far. If someone wants to pick it up and continue, have fun.**

 **This being said, the standard disclamer applies... If I owned Skip Beat then everything I write would be true :p but I don't so alas this is just my best guess with some wishing and hoping thrown in.**

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Tsuruag-san looks upset, Kyoko thought as she fidgeted with the end of her dress. Is he mad about something? Did I do something wrong? Ren released a deep breath slowly and looked into Kyoko's eyes. "Kyoko, I have something I really need to tell you. It's kind of a long story, but I think you deserve to know the truth, the whole truth. All I ask is that you stay till the end of the story. Do you promise you will stay till the end? You deserve to know everything." Kyoko resisted the urge to grab his hand. He was acting like she would run away and never return. She wanted to assure him that there was no place she would rather be than beside him, but she kept that response locked deep inside her heart. Instead she just nodded and whispered, "I promise." Ren took another trembling breath and began his story.

"Once upon a time, there was a young boy who loved his parents very much. To him his mother was the most beautiful creature who ever walked the Earth, and his father, well he wanted to be just like his father. His father was as talented and famous actor, a King, if you will, of the entertainment industry. Top actor in Japan and gaining popularity with rapid speed in America and around the world. His father was good-natured, highly adoring of his son and wife, and extremely dedicated to his work. At a young age the boy was introduced to the world of show business and tried to carve out his place in that world. He took all sorts of lessons. martial arts, acrobatics, even some dance and voice lessons. He studied hard and was dedicated to trying to master these skills. When the day finally came that he got his first role he was beyond excited and his father was proud. His excitement quickly faded though. On the set there were those who said that he only got the job because of his father, others because of his looks. No one paid attention to the skills that he had worked so hard to master. But that was the easiest of the bullying that he had to handle. The worst came from those that didn't like that the boy was of a mixed race. Part Japanese, part American, part Russian. The boy tried to keep his temper in check, but one day, overwhelmed with stress from the constant NG's from the director, comments about he should do the scene more like his father would do it, and torment about his bloodline the boy snapped. He got into a fight with one of the other child co-stars. The other boy's mother who happens to be on set, pulled him by the hair and flung him to the floor and began shouting at the director that he needed to be removed. It was the first time the boy was fired. Around and around the cycle went, each time the boy getting angrier and angrier, but never again did he lose his composure and get into a fight again. Slowly the boy began to hate acting, hate the industry. He wanted to quit and he was ready to. Until his father brought him with him on a trip to Japan.

He was ten years old then. He had been desperately trying to find a place for himself in the entertainment world, to be an actor as great and admired as his father. It was with this kind of darkness filling him that he found himself one day in a forest in Kyoto a world away from his friends and his problems. He always loved nature and being outside and he had found this small stone bottomed river running through the forest which seemed to soothe his soul. It was in this place that he met a little girl a few years younger than him. She came crashing through the brush, tears fresh in her eyes, but instead of crying she asked in amazement if the boy was a fairy. The boy almost laughed at the absurdity of it, but there was such innocence and hope around the girl that he just couldn't bring himself to tell her he wasn't. After all, his father always told him that all experiences would be helpful to his acting. The boy and girl spent the summer together, playing. She would often come into the forest crying about how her mother was disappointed in her grades and the boy would try to comfort her by performing acrobatic tricks. As he got to know her, he began to admire her tenacity. With every bad score, the girl seemed more and more determined to work harder. It was acting as this girls fairy friend that the boy regained his love for acting and became determined to work harder to reach his fathers standard. The day before he had to go he gave his small friend a memento of his. It was a small blue stone that he got from his mother, that she had told him it would take away his troubles.

The boy returned home, with renewed vigor at becoming an actor. It was shortly after that he finally made a friend. His friend was a few years older than him and his name was Rick. Rick told him he needed to kill the chicken within him, that if he didn't he wouldn't survive. He needed to stand up for himself, to fight for himself. One night, several of the bullies who were on the set, after filming had wrapped, ambushed the boy. Began provoking him. Taunting him about his mixed blood, how every job he got was because of his father, but the breaking point for the boy was when they called his mother a russian whore. All of the bottled up rage that had been brewing in the boy exploded and years of combat training kicked in. If it wasn't for Rick showing up that night with his girlfriend Tina, he might have beat them to death. As it was, one of the group made a run for it, and as he ran, he pushed Tina aside and shouted "move bitch," and the boy lost it again. With a grin, he gave chase, imagining himself the predator to their prey. His prey darted across the street and the boy followed, not knowing that Rick was behind him.

I… I won't ever forget the sound of the screeching tires, or the way his body sounded when he hit the ground. Sometimes, I still have nightmares hearing Tina's scream in my ears. Calling me a murderer.. how.. how I killed Rick.. how if I didn't exist.. rick wouldn't have died… I promised myself at that point that since Rick had lost his shot at life, and I had taken away his and Tina's happiness, that I also wouldn't be allowed to have happiness. I never ate much anyway, but I began eating less and less. I wouldn't leave my room for days. I was frozen in darkness that I didn't know how to get out of. Then one day the president showed up and offered me a chance at a new life. A place where I could pursue acting without the weight of my father's shadow drowning me. There was a price to this though. I had to give up who I was and become someone else. I made this character with care, he would be professional and hard working, dedicated, and more than anything else, he would be a gentleman. For five years I relentlessly pursued my dream, my only goal to reach the same height as my father. I forsook everything that had to do with my past, including my parents. Then one day my past came crashing into me, when the little girl I had met in a forest in Kyoto suddenly came back into my life and turned it upside down. You are my salvation; you have released me from my darkness and give me hope for a bright future. I.. I hope you will forgive me, for not telling you sooner who I am, but what I said in Guam is just as true here as it was there. I love you, Kyoko-chan. Please forgive me."

Kuon bowed low, his head resting against the ground. He wouldn't move. He couldn't. Not until she forgave him…till she said or did something. The silence was agonizing and to Kuon it felt like it stretched on for eternity.

Kyoko felt all the pieces clicking in place. Her brain unconsciously filtering out the bit about him saying he was in love with her. When Kuu was here and she acted young Kuon, she modeled him off of Corn. Father said she was acting a Kuon of around 10, which was hold he must have been when they met. Tsuruga-san said that she was able to align her feelings with Kuon perfectly. How would he know that unless what he said was true. Finally she spoke, her voice hardly above a whisper. "You're Corn? And… Corn is… Corn is… Kuon?"


End file.
